The Pikes Peak Road Runners Fall Series #3: Like a mini Skyrunning race, only smaller but just as competitive as the real thing

Where Monument Valley Park brought the "creek cough"-- and possibly Giardia-- Bear Creek Park caused the "death sneeze", Ute Valley Park brought the HURT (read: broken bones, head-first diggers, face slashes, never-nudes and much, much more).

It all started on a beautiful fall day in early November (not the cold, wet and nasty kind that no one likes) but a true it's-almost-70-degrees-kind-of-day. The pecking order has been established with the first half of the series in the rear-view. 

There is the golden boy of Team Colorado, Alex "Axel" Nichols, who is undefeated in the series thus far.

Neil "Big McD" McDonagh is coming off a competitive 2nd place finish in Bear Creek Park and is back at odds with fellow teammate, Axel--call it a rekindling of old fire.

Justin Ricks, who placed 3rd at the Trail Half Marathon National Championships the day before in a different state--his travel stipend must be high!

"A good pre-race dance always gets the juices flowing for the race" - Justin Ricks, the running man    photo: Cherie Xavier

Peter "The Prez" Maksimow, who has not done anything spectacular, is using the strategy of consistency to hold his second place series standing and his 3rd place finish streak.

Nice Inov-(foot) uniform, what is that, velvet!?         photo: Cherie Xavier

Then there is that Chubby Bunny team member Carlos Ruibal, who has hopped his way into the top 5 in all the races thus far (no photographic evidence exists of said Chubby Bunny---OK, that is not true, he was captured in the above photo with Big McD, just the bottom half of his head, though). 

Who else, you ask!?

Leave it to Team Colorado to throw a wrench into things…with another Team Coloradan! Fresh off a 3rd place finish and 2:26:38 at the Steamtown Marathon in Scranton, PA (yes, that is the same place The Office was filmed), youngster James "Mr." Burns goes and throws the whole race out of proportion with his very beautiful stride and flowing blond hair (Axel, you have competition, not only in the beautiful hair category, but also in the race category…as in running race…not racial race).

As usual, the race is taken out at a reckless pace, in this case, someone with the word "Reckless" across their chest. The race starts with a circuit around a track before the climb into the hilly and technical Ute Valley Park, at which point is becomes very fun…or very miserable...depending on who you asked.

Scott Bowman goes out at "RECKLESS" pace                   photo: Jeff Kearney

Ricks and The Prez, chatting about the race                                   photo: Jeff Kearney

The race started like a track race (literally) then matured to a progressive climb before dropping down into a valley of technical footing and a sandy waterless creek. The fast flat section before the beer aid station was relatively mild and really a tease as it soon shot up to the craggy ridge…then down...then up again to a narrow-spiney ridge where things like this occur.

An actual injury caused by the course…luckily not a Team Coloradan. Heal up, Don!           photo: Magnetic Resonance Imaging

In the past this race has witnessed such things are large animal carcasses, sasquaches, even Matt Carpenter! This is the first time for a never-nude.

This never-nude has the striking resemblance of Team Colorado's Brandon "Stankanowich" Stapanowich, but he would never partake in public never-nudity--it scares children                                         photo: PikesPeakSports.us

Axel Nichols uses his superior downhill Jornet-esque running ability to capture yet another Fall Series race win.

Axel shows off his foot and his Team Colorado colors       photo: Jeff Kearney

Axel, after a few games of tennis, wins the race            photo: PikesPeakSports.us

After taking a dive on the trail, Mr. Burns dusts himself off and finishes in 2nd place. 

Mr. Burns powering up the last hill of the course…luckily he doesn't have avian bones        photo: PikesPeakSports.us

A reenactment of what the dive might have looked like.



Following closely behind Mr. Burns was The Prez and Justin Ricks. That Chubby Bunny broke up another Team Colorado sweep.

The Prez takes his 3rd 3rd place finish…that's no coincidence       photo: PikesPeakSports.us

With a (almost) sweep of the race, Team Colorado takes places 1, 2, 3, 4, 6…and 145th for the never-nude.

Big McD pulls out he hand knives in the last climb of the day           photo: PikesPeakSports.us

Confucius says, "Go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with stinky finger." He'll learn.

Yet another public display of posterior itch relief       photo: The Gute

After the adult races were completed, the Fall Series Kid's Races took place with Team Colorado taking the rabbiting duties...because these kids are faster than most elite runners.

Big McD sprinting to stay in front of the 12-14 year olds…no easy task     photo: Chef l'équipe

Who's the Boss…not Tony Danza!!!            photo: Chef l'équipe

Team Colorado: where even your children have no chance of being a winner.

Wow, that doesn't look like it hurts at all!         photo: Chef l'équipe

"Dolla' dolla bill, y'all!" Axel raked in the cabbage with his win.              photo:PikesPeakSports.us 

Congratulations to Team The Blerch (Sarah, Amy, Nora and Bobbi) for surviving the course and hanging on to 2nd place in the women's team category.

Team Colorado Running Company (it's like a small rouge faction of Team Colorado) sits in 2nd in the co-ed team race, which happens to be the most competitive race category in the series.

Don't worry, that foot has since been fixed…do we smell a Pink Cast Award!?

Results

The Treaty at Palmer Park

Over the course of the last six weeks Alex Nichols has prodded, slandered and generally ruined any chance of ever regaining my social standing in the Colorado Springs running community. He has called my bet and pushed all his chips into the pot. 

My response? Never bend to a tyrant. Nothing would please Alex more than to beat me in four consecutive races (although his use of murderous flying insects has drawn international scorn). So my only choice is to deny him this very satisfaction. 

I will leave the Fall Series with my honor intact. I shall sabbatical in the desert of the Southwest for an undetermined amount of time (Sunday probably). Where upon I will pursue great spiritual and homeopathic healing. 

So enjoy your spoils Mr. Nichols as I abdicate my position on the starting line. Your hollow victory shall be remembered for my absence. 

The Pikes Peak Road Runners Fall Series #2: Attack of the Killah Bees!

At the last race, RD Larry "Sadist" Miller and the Fall Series brought to you the polluted creek of Monument Valley. This time it was Bear Creek Regional Park--just with rabid bees rather than bears. Other than not going into anaphylactic shock due to bee stings, the good news is that the government is back in business and the barricades were lifted so that the runners could climb, descend, scramble, creek jump and scale hillsides in a single bound (with the aid of ropes, of course).

With our commentator, Simon "Gute" Gutierrez being out of town to pace his mother to a sub-30-minute 10k (yes, she is fast, too!), we had to mental telepathize the race participants to get the commentary.

Last time the runners contracted the Monument Valley Creek Cough...what will it be this time?

Initiate telepathizer!

Big McD: "I hope nobody notices that I am scratching my ass in public."

Everyone: "Who's this gingerbread man who's showing off some midriff while taking out the race like someone is going to eat him?"

+

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Gingerbread Man: "You'd also be running this fast if you looked this delicious and nutritious!"

editor's note: The gingerbread man was just a rabbit, he didn't want to get his yellow and orange frosting soggy in the creek water.

Tim Bergsten (PikesPeakSports.us): "ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO, START OF FALL SERIES 2, WE'RE IN BEAR CREEK PARK...GOOD JOB BOYS!" (Just watch the video so he doesn't have to repeat himself.)

Unsuspecting runners discovered that the secret obstacle was a hive of angry Africanized bees. Not good for people who have a lot of exposed skin.

Innocent Runner: "Oh...huff, hufff...there is a bee hive...hufff...someone is going to get stung...hufff...I better put my jacket over it so that doesn't happen."

Angry Bees: "ANGRY...MUST STING!!!!!"

Unsuspecting recipient of bee stings: "Ohhhh....beeeeees, ahhhhh! It stung my eyeeeee! AHHHHHHH!"

Larry Miller: "HAHA, I love it when these courses devour people!!!!"

Angry Bees: "SHOULDN'T...HAVE...DONE...THAT.....NOW.......I........DIE....or merely get jobbed out of the WWF."

While in racing news...

Big McD: "Oh shit...Axel is getting away...whoa, Killer Bees...I love that duo!"

Axel: "La la laaaaa...this is so much easier compared to last weekend in Italy...what bees are you talking about...I don't see any bees...plus, I am moving at 5:00-min/mile pace, bees are slow."

The Prez: "Oh Shit, I can't stop for beer at this beer station, Justin is on my ass...but there's BEER! [contemplatively] I hope that was a fly that just went into my shirt....

The Prez: Where are my feet!? I don't see my feet!!


Justin: "Oh shit, a beer station, Peter is definitely going to stop there. I'll catch him there for sure!"

Axel: "And they thought that only those silly looking lizards could do this, ha!"

Lizard: "Don't call me silly...I weigh more than you do!"

Axel: "OK, this is more like Limone, just without some Spanish guy named 'Hornet'."

Big McD: "Now I really wish I had some of those fancy Inov-8 X-talon 212's that The Prez is wearing."

Big McD: "This is what a Heisman winner looks like...."

Big McD: "...and my next impression...Jesse Owens!"

Chef l'équipe: "I am glad I took the rope out from in between my legs--those people are really tugging back there! Sheesh!"


Big McD: "Give me your lunch money, kid!"

Axel: "Nooooooo, I neeeeeed MILK...for strong bones!"


Team Colorado sweeps the top 4 spots with Axel, Big McD, The Prez and Justin....who looks a little worse for the wear after the killah bees and creek crossings.

THE TEAM PHOTO!

Results

PikesPeakSports.us article

A Complete Breach of Apiarian Trust

If you've run any race in Colorado Springs over the years, you've got to know Alex Nichols by now. Heck, he's won or claimed to have won almost every race in town. He's great. Right? Let's investigate. 

I am teammates with Alex, or at least I thought that was the case until this past Sunday. Classic Midwest charm exudes from his every pore.

As we prepared for the start of the race Alex seemed to be speaking in code.

“You’re gonna bee really sorry after this one.”

“Those hills are going to really sting.”

“Someone might win a yellow jacket after this one.”

Honestly I thought he was just paying homage to my alma mater, Georgia Tech (3-2 in ACC conference play).

Little did I know that Alex had likely strategically positioned a virulent nest of swarming vermin bound to be trampled by unsuspecting Fall Series survivors. As we ran abreast over the crest of the first big hill, Alex says to me “You have to run behind me for this part.” I could see him stomp hard on a patch of dirt with his taloned Inov-8’s. Thankfully I never clear the wax out of my ears. So I just just pointed to my clogged ear canals and pulled into the lead.

With one mile left in the race I knew something was wrong. Mainly because everyone was yelling “BEEEEES!”

The Killer Bees

The first thought that came to my mind was “Alex”. And you know what? I’m probably right.

Do you trust this guy?

Or this guy?

I rest my case.

Big McD

All above statements are made purely in the name of slander.

Who's Christopher Columbus? Feels more like Stevie Kremer Day!

On the week of the American Federal holiday, Columbus Day, named for someone that didn't actually go by that name when he was alive, we celebrate the real adventurers...because discovering something after it has already been discovered is like walking into someone else's house and telling them "I LIVE HERE NOW!!!"

LIMONE SKYRUNNING EXTREME - SKYRUNNING FINALE

Not Ants...Runners!                                  photo: Organisation Press Office

In the finale of the 2013 Skyrunning World Series in Limone, Italy (and all along we thought that US Baseball had that title) Axel Nichols and Stevie "Sunshine" Kremer were given Limone...and so they made Lemonade! They then added their winnings to that and came out with a Bellini-esque concoction, courtesy of their new friend Valdo...but let's not put the cart before the horse.

 Axel is deep in German conversation just before the start        photo: Limone Skyrunning Xtreme

The Limone Extreme race took place in the small mountain-side town of Limone along the picturesque Lake Garda and consisted of over 6,000 feet of climbing over a 23.5k distance. Although, it must have seemed like so much longer on such a steep climb as this. (Note: Do not watch this video if you get motion sickness--or just brace yourself and have a barf bag handy, the helicopter views are a doozie!)

Axel Nichols and fellow Inov-8 and Stoic Viking teammate, Florian Reichert, show how to keep calm even while a women is pretending she is your cranial conjoined twin   photo: ISF

Axel went into the final race of the series in 4th place and, with a 8th place performance at Limone Extreme, he secured his name (spell it correctly, A-X-E-L) in the annals of the International Skyrunning Federation with a podium finish of 3rd (226.2 points). 

Axel attempting to pass a large moss monster...Axel succeeded         photo: Limone Skyrunning Xtreme

Axel participated in the following Skyrunning World Series races: Zagama Aizkorri (well, he started that one, anyway), Mont Blanc Marathon (7th), Pikes Peak Marathon (2nd) and Limone Extreme (8th). Even though Axel didn't have as many points as 5th place series finisher, Jokin Lizeaga Mitxelena (not a made up name), he secured the 3rd place series rank because the top 3 scores were tallied to determine the overall standings. Best of three!!!

Podium of the Skyrunning World Series (L to R) Luis Alberto Hernando, Kilian "Hornet" Jornet and Axel Nichols. Axel did not get the not-shaving-for-a-month memo.              photo: Limone Skyrunning Xtreme

Axel then drank his prize with a little Limone.

They do not give out glasses in Limon, only large VALDO bottles in which to drink out of     photo: Natalie White

Axel getting the red carpet treatment as he finishes                                 photo: Ian Corless

Stevie went over to Italy sitting in 2nd place in the Skyrunning World Series rankings, down by only by a mere 10 points behind Emelie Forsberg, and worked her magic on that craggy mountain. 

Stevie shows off her color-coordniated leg tape to all the men as she passes them            photo: Droz Photo

With a big will and a small lump (on her lower back), Stevie held 2nd place on the steep climb...then she made her move on the technical downhill section, won the race and put more seven minutes on the next finisher, Antonella Confortola (2:53:58). Forsberg finished 3rd in 2:54:54.

Brilliant Surgeon: "You know, I am brilliant surgeon, I can help you remove that hump." Stevie: "What hump!?"       photo: Ski & Run

Stevie bowled a perfect game (if this was bowling) with a perfect score of 320 (20 bonus points for the win at Limone Extreme). She competed in Zagama Aizkorri (3rd), Mont Blanc Marathon (1st), Pikes Peak Marathon (1st), and Limone Extreme (1st, CR).

Football players (American, not European) don't even get this much attention!              photo: Ian Corless

Stevie was running so fast that she almost lost her drawers (don't believe us, check out 11:45 into the video by sporrtdimontagna). Maybe it was due to her friend, Lumpy?

The women's Limone Extreme podium (L to R) Antonella Confortola, Stevie "Sunshine" Kremer, Emelie "Hot Pants" Forsberg   photo: Limone Skyrunning Xtreme

With her time of 2:46:13, Stevie set a new course record and with that performance she has been anointed with a new holiday: Stevie Kremer Day! She celebrated with her friend Valdo.

From here forth, October 14th is declared Stevie Kremer Day! No more City in Ohio day.

YEAHHH, World Series Champion!                                  photo: Limone Skyrunning Xtreme

Team Colorado's Axel Nichols and Stevie Kremer put the 'merica into America                      photo: Ian Corless

Runner's World cheddar
International Skyrunning Federation

CHICAGO MARATHON

Glenn "Pulling a GR" Randall took on the Chicago Marathon last weekend, where the winning time was a scorching 2:03:45 by Kenyan Dennis Kimetto. Wow! We are not sure he even attempted to Pull a GR with that kind of speed.

Randall, who has been tied up in Physics midterms, told us he was fairly-to-somewhat confident with his preparation for Chicago. "I'm going in with roughly the same confidence I went with into a midterm last Thursday. Pre-midterm grade in the class is apparently 139%, and I'm very confident that I got in the A range for the exam. So, I figure if it worked at Pikes Peak (in 2010) and it worked on that exam, maybe it'll work here?"

It seemed to work! He finished in 32nd place overall with a very respectable 2:21:32.

Result

STEAMTOWN MARATHON

One of our newest additions to Team Colorado, James "Mr." Burns (Colorado Springs, CO), takes on the marathon distance in his sophomore showing. 

Mr. Burns headed out to his birth state to run the Steamtown Marathon in Scranton, PA (as well as to hang out with the similarly last-named Matt Byrne and the rest of the cast of The Office). He managed a PR and 3rd place overall, running 2:26:38. 

He was plotting it all along!

2:26:38, Mwhahahahahahahhhhh!

Results

MINE TO MINE CHALLENGE 9K

Simon "Gute" Gutierrez was back to his old self (no pun intended) when he again ran the Mine to Mine 9k Challenge in Cripple Creek, CO. Last year Gute struck gold in the Mine to Mine Challenge and created a gold tooth out of the gold nugget he won. He repeated his performance again this year with a 3rd place finish in a time of 29:47. 

Last year...a gold tooth. This year...another gold tooth, and in 12 more years...a gold grill!

Gute showing a lot of skin at this race...he usually tends to underdress     photo: PikesPeakSports.us

Gute gave us the lowdown on the race:

"The weather was perfect for a gold mining expedition....two young gunning prospectors went out at 4:07 (Joe Gay) and 4:27 (Richard Medina). I took it careful not to hurt my old hamstrings at 4:46 (especially thinking old sexy had pulled his...Gerald)...by 2 miles Joe and Richard were beyond eye sight and I was happy to not see any one behind me. So, as a wise old prospector, I did not try to get greedy and wish for more gold, instead I relaxed (15:52 through 5km), enjoyed the run and was surprised to run a minute faster than last year. Now I officially have 2 gold nuggets!! Saving up for a rainy day or some new gold teeth..."

Gute showing off his gold nug with RD Shaun Finley (L) and Joe Gray (aquamarine)        photo: PikesPeakSports.us

Results