I am slow.
I can’t help it, it’s just the way I am.
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| Wacker (169) eyeing Gute (3)...wins stink-eye contest! photo: PikesPeakSports.us |
But let us disregard my punctuality on race write-ups and
talk about running uphill with some of the top mountain runners in the world,
shall we?
The 2014 Pikes Peak Ascent doubled at the WMRA World Long
Course Challenge and 20 countries were represented, making it an
Olympic-atmosphere feel full of colorful kits and comical communication
barriers. My race preparation consisted of spending the week in Detroit--don’t
ask, I’m trying to forget about that part of my training. Upon my return to Manitou Springs, my legs felt like pixy sticks from running along the river with a nice southern view of
Canada (yes, southern!) and my head felt like it had been punched by the very
large fist statue of Joe Louis himself.
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| That's a big fist, Joe! |
I arrived back in time for the pre-race press conference,
which was chocked full of foreign athletes, which race MC, Bart Yasso, taunted
in the nicest of ways and attempted to get all the English he could out of
them. It’s the American way: making people feel uncomfortable in the most
comfortable way possible.
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Wacker, not just a name...nor a pretty face
photo:PikesPeakSports.us |
Now, I didn’t have the weight on my shoulders that I
potentially could have had. I thought I had a good shot at being part of Team
USA after have some really good results in qualifying races but was eventually
not selected. I’m often the bridesmaid and not the bride, but at least I am in
the wedding party! Plus, I had Team Inov-8 and Team Colorado to represent, not to mention Team Manitou Brewing Company, which had the best post-race prizes for me no matter how I finished. It
was very encouraging to have some of the Team USA members make me feel like I was
part of the team with supportive comments, kind words and a good ol’ ‘merican
slap on the ass. Andy Wacker gives the best ass wacks, hence the name. And that Shannon Payne, yeah, her slaps hurt pretty bad! Again, hence the name.
The grandioseness of the weekend did not set in until I
began to see all the uniforms: South Africa, Wales (just one), Eritrea (it
looked like a 2:10 marathon uniform, and it was worn by four-time WMRA Long
Course runner up and 2012 & 2013 WMRA Grand Prix Champ, Azerya Teklay),
Ukraine, Italia (that’s how they spell it on their jersey), Norway, Slovenia,
Mexico, Australia, Germany, Japan (another solo), Romania (the Romantic
Romanian Runner Ionut Zinca) and many more. Even Kansas! I finally met fellow
Inov-8 teammate and obstacle racer-extraordinaire, Cody Moat—it’s difficult to
miss a bright red jersey with a foot as an 8 on it. I searched for another
Inov-8 team member, friend and all-around good guy, Scott Dunlap, but he was
somewhere gathering his strength for the Ascent/Marathon Double and knew that
he had to partake in our now-traditional celebratory beer on the Peak after the
race. Team Colorado was well represented with Stevie "Sunshine" Kremer, Brandy "Mile-A-Minute" Erholtz, Donna "Gar-Gute" Garcia, Amy "Chef l'équipe" Perez, Simon "Gute" Gutierrez, Sage "The Rage" Canaday, Neil "Big McD" McDonagh, and myself, Le Prez, as they say in France.
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| A few Team Coloradans under the lined and one circle-spangled banners. |
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| Quick! Look right! |
The start line looked intimidating with all the cleanly shaven legs (except for Team USA’s Zach Miller, you need to join the club, Zach!) and intense looks. My ego wouldn’t fit on the front line, so it was pushed back to the second row of the start line. It was, by far, the most competitive race the Pikes Peak Ascent has ever assembled, but I knew that the race was not won in the first mile so I had to run smart and know if I did I would deserve that beer at the top.
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| Zach: refusing to join the club. Wacker: doing his best chicken leg impression. photo: Eddie Metro |
The starting cannon detonated and either
gave you an additional shot of adrenaline or stopped your heart momentarily. I
did not fall down so I guess I received the former. There goes fellow Team
Coloradan and 3 X Ascent Champion, Simon “Gute” Gutierrez, to the front in his
patented lead-out sprint. Oh, what’s this!? The guy with the freshly shorn legs
and pretty hair, Andy Wacker, goes by Gute at an even faster cadence. It is
times like these that I wish auctioneers would commentate on races in the lead
vehicle. Now that would be entertainment!
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| Watch that elbow! photo: OutThereColorado.com |
The lead pack is three times the size it usually is during
the Ascent and I felt like I was in a swarm of bees that had just had their
hive kicked, buzzing and eager, almost angry. Apparently, I was eager, too,
because a 6-flat first mile on the road climb to the Barr Trailhead can lead to
the death sentence in this race. Oh well, can’t take that back now!
The next section, the Ws, is one of the toughest sections of
the race, in my opinion, with its long and steep switchbacks that appear as Ws
on an aerial map. It seemed I wasn’t moving fast enough because the entire
Italian contingent went by me in a matter of about 10 seconds, each one saying
“sorry” to me as they passed. They were so nice in their competitiveness. I
think the English translation would have been, “get out of my way you American
with a fairly decent mustache!” Next a Mexican went by me, then others that I
didn’t recognize because all I witnessed was their asses. That’s what happens
with steep grades, you get right on someone’s shoulder but really you are face
to ass with them.
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| Brandy talks as fast as she runs! photo: PikesPeakSports.us |
I had a short chat with the Scottish-Coloradan, Ryan Smith
(first UK finisher--Scotland is still part of the UK, you know!--living in Colorado has done him well.). He was thoroughly
impressed with how loud I was belching 2 miles into the race. We did a great
job of entertaining ourselves amid the misery of the climb…and it had just
begun. As the saying goes, misery loves company…and it does!
After the Ws did a good job of stringing out the field, I
found my self running with Thomas Cornthwaite of England. I only understood half
of what he said with his thick accent, but I appreciated every word as it took
my mind off the hard uphill grind. We fed off each other like a proper English
breakfast and pushed the pace when it began to slow. Every time I went by him
it was, “You look crackers!” or “Bloody Good, mate!” My encouragement was usually a
slap on the ass and some American words that he hopefully couldn’t understand…just
so we could be on the same page. It was working! We were gradually catching and
passing runners who had underestimated what wrath the mountain could impose.
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Zach Miller likes to chomp bananas!
photo: PikesPeakSports.us |
We caught and passed an Italian, an American, some more
runners, then Gute just before Barr Camp. His race strategy was to go out hard
the first half and bank some time for the second half. This is where I told
myself the race was to begin, even though I had already had almost 70 minutes
of hard racing and jockeying for position, I had to convince myself this is
where it started. We acquired Gute in our train to the Peak and continued to
catch the carnage on the trail like Pac Man chomps up fruit.
The next couple of miles was like purgatory, it had to be
done to breach treeline and face the most difficult section of the course, A-Frame
to the summit (3 miles) aka the surface of the moon, where you are either
struggling or have already turned into a zombie. We spotted more runners up
ahead! As Thomas and I approached, he stated who the runner was (Emanuele Manzi
of Italy) and excitedly exclaimed “Maaaanzi, gooud runnah!” (That’s the best
New Castle accent I can hope to impart in written word). I knew the field was
world class and everyone we came in contact with now held an impressive resume,
so I seemed to be acquiring 1UPs with every person I passed. One more person
and I would have the ability to throw fireballs! Well, I already had so much
red on I looked like I was on fire: racecar red Inov-8 jersey and hat, razzel red
Swiftwick Aspire 4 socks and the new rad red, ectoplasm green and black
TrailRoc 245 (next season’s color, keep an eye out, you can’t miss them…they're bright!).
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| Gute and Gar-Gute, a couple of youngster! photo: Gar-Gute |
I came up on Ionut Zinca, the Romantic from Romania, who
placed 3
rd at last year’s WMRA Long Course Challenge, and we
exchanged a few words before he accelerated off ahead at such a difficult point
in the race to do so. This explains why he was 3
rd last year! I felt
good, I had trained for this and I was racing to plan. How many more pieces of
fruit could this Pac Man get? I looked down the switchbacks and saw friend and
recent training partner Marco Sturm of Germany running well and making up
ground. Gute was still right there, don’t ever count him out even though he is
almost 50. Where did Thomas go, he was just right with me!? Marco’s high
altitude prowess was due to his month of training and living on Pikes Peak
before the race. After seeing him up on the Peak every time I was up there we
got together for runs, found him Team Colorado housing in Manitou Springs and he even
defected to the Colorado! (Not really, but he is still staying in Manitou
Springs as of early September.)
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Marco Sturm: elite mountain runner, cat sitter.
photo: PikesPeakSports.us |
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| Stevie "Sunshine" Kremer shows that mountain who's boss! photo: PikesPeakSports.us |
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| Neil, exorcizing the demons! photo: PikesPeakSports.us |
2 miles to go and close ahead I could see Zinca passing a pair
of runners. I followed suit and decided I needed to do the same. It was Amed
from Mexico and Mei from Italy. I had no idea what place I was in at this point.
I could have been anywhere from 7
th to 15
th from my rough
calculation, but the brain doesn’t really function properly at 13,000 ft. My
brain did know to run as hard as I could with as little oxygen as was
available. And so I ran on…
1 mile to go. I couldn’t tell who the black singlet belonged to until I passed him, Stefan Hubert, Germany’s top runner.The front side of the German uniform is red, that's a sneaky trick! One foot in front
of the other, the senses are getting blurred now. Struggling runners. I am
struggling, but I am still passing them. How!?!? With a half mile to go, you
encounter the crippling rock scramble which is lovingly referred to as the 16 Golden Stairs. As the
name indicates, 16 tightly weaved switchbacks over boulders make 15 meters seem
like 800. For lack of better terms, a real kick in the balls! Zinca is slowing
to a crawl, am I really going to pass him!? I hear someone yell “10th
place!” Are they referring to me or someone else? Halfway through the stairs
Zinca willingly moves over and allows me to crawl by. BluhBluhBluup--1UP! I
needed that extra life!
Within a half mile of the finish, I am energized again by a red, white and blue-clad superhero
perched on a precipice, waving an American flag, mullet flowing in the breeze
and muscles rippling in the vacant-atmosphere sunlight. Could it be!? Captain
‘merica!? He vaguely resembled my Team Colorado teammate, Brandon Stapanowich. This
put a smile on my misery-stricken face for the first time in 2 hours and 20
minutes. I still couldn’t let up since Zinca was hot on my tail. I knew the
last two minutes of the race are among the most painful I would experience in
life and at any second I expected the Romanian to push past me, offer me a
romantic gesture and say, “Sorry!”
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Zinca trying to catch me to say sorry
photo: PikesPeakSports.us |
Last turn! Don’t catch your toe on that boulder! Don’t fall
over! No “Sorry” was whispered from behind and I cross the line to a
congratulatory high-five from race director, Ron Ilgen, and all of a sudden the
world is audible again. I placed 9
th overall in 2:21:11, a 5:28
personal record on the mountain, along with being 6
th American and
behind only two Italians and one Eritrean. I was interviewed by the local
newspaper the previous week, The Colorado Springs Gazette, and was asked what I
thought my chances were of winning the race. “Top 20 would be amazing, top 10
would double amazing, winning would make me famous pretty quickly,” was my
response. Silly questions solicit silly answers. In previous years, my time
would have made me famous pretty quickly, but I was extremely happy with “double
amazing.” My “double amazing” time this year would have “made me famous pretty
quickly” in a few past years. Just to display how competitive the race was, 23
males broke 2:30 and 16 women broke 3:00, while only 3 men and 4 women broke those
respective barriers in 2013. Women’s winner, Allie McLaughlin, ran the 3
rd
fastest women’s time in race history. 4
th place finisher from last
year’s Ascent, David McKay, was 22
nd this year…and that is even with
a faster time! Holy
Schiße, as they
say in Germany!
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Holding hands with RD Ron Ilgen at the finish, and Nora, the First Lady quick to hold me up so I don't fall over.
photo: PikesPeakSports.us |
I was very proud to be part of it.
I would like to congratulate all of the participants--winners
as well as those whose goal was just to reach to finish in under the cutoff
time. To the US men’s and women’s team for both capturing the individual and
team gold medals (Individuals: Team Coloradan Sage Canaday and Colorado Springs native Allie
McLaughlin; Women's Team: Allie McLaughlin, Morgan Arritola, Shannon Payne, Stevie Kremer, Nuta Olaru; Men's Team:
Sage Canaday, Andy Wacker, Eric Blake, Joe Gray and Zach Miller). Thanks to those on the US Team for making me feel like I was part
of the team, even thought I was not. After all, the slogan for Pikes Peak is
“America’s Mountain.” Alanis Morissette would say “isn't it ironic…don’t you
think?” I would say "it's coincidence" because, after all, it is in America.
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| There is an "US" in Team USA! Congrats on the gold medal Sage Canaday, Andy Wacker, Eric Blake, Joe Gray and Zach Miller. photo: The Prez |
The best part of the event, and reason why I love the sport
so much, is celebrating with the amazing people after the hard effort is over.
In this case, we had the Team World Pool Party at a little watering hole called
La Piscina (thanks Brandon, how do you always seem to miss your own party!?),
where 50+ people from all over the world turned it into the “Official
(Unofficial) Post Race Party.” Because, in the long run, becoming famous is not
all that important…but it definitely does help your popularity at the after
party!
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Team World Pool Party! Amy Perez (not pictured) taking picture.
|
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There's Amy! This is equivalent of being photoshopped into the above photo.
photo: Not Amy this time but, you guessed it, PikesPeakSports.us |
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| The smallest and largest participant at the Pikes Peak Ascent. Allie McLaughlin would have been very popular if she had been at the after party. photo: PikesPeakSports.us |
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| There's Thomas Cornthwaite! Bloody thumbs up, mate! photo: OutThereColorado.com |
The performance of the weekend has to go to the Team Colorado Ladies as they swept all the top spots and set a NEW WOMEN'S OPEN TEAM RECORD of 3:44:13. Kim "Queen of Uphill" Dobson reigns once again with her overall win in 1:11:39, Brandy "Mile-a-Minute" Erholtz followed in 2nd 1:15:34 (a past Mt. Washington Champ), Laura "Honey Bee" Haefeli completed the trifecta with her 3rd place finish in 1:17:00 (also, a Mt. W Champ, seeing the pattern here?), and Donna "Gar-Gute" Gutierrez holding the team together with her 52nd place, 1:40:33.
The performance of the weekend has to go to the Team Colorado Ladies as they swept all the top spots and set a NEW WOMEN'S OPEN TEAM RECORD of 3:44:13. Kim "Queen of Uphill" Dobson reigns once again with her overall win in 1:11:39, Brandy "Mile-a-Minute" Erholtz followed in 2nd 1:15:34 (a past Mt. Washington Champ), Laura "Honey Bee" Haefeli completed the trifecta with her 3rd place finish in 1:17:00 (also, a Mt. W Champ, seeing the pattern here?), and Donna "Gar-Gute" Gutierrez holding the team together with her 52nd place, 1:40:33. 
