Friday, October 25, 2013

The Pikes Peak Road Runners Fall Series #2: Attack of the Killah Bees!

At the last race, RD Larry "Sadist" Miller and the Fall Series brought to you the polluted creek of Monument Valley. This time it was Bear Creek Regional Park--just with rabid bees rather than bears. Other than not going into anaphylactic shock due to bee stings, the good news is that the government is back in business and the barricades were lifted so that the runners could climb, descend, scramble, creek jump and scale hillsides in a single bound (with the aid of ropes, of course).

With our commentator, Simon "Gute" Gutierrez being out of town to pace his mother to a sub-30-minute 10k (yes, she is fast, too!), we had to mental telepathize the race participants to get the commentary.

Last time the runners contracted the Monument Valley Creek Cough...what will it be this time?

Initiate telepathizer!

Big McD: "I hope nobody notices that I am scratching my ass in public."

Everyone: "Who's this gingerbread man who's showing off some midriff while taking out the race like someone is going to eat him?"


Gingerbread Man: "You'd also be running this fast if you looked this delicious and nutritious!"

editor's note: The gingerbread man was just a rabbit, he didn't want to get his yellow and orange frosting soggy in the creek water.

Tim Bergsten ( "ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO, START OF FALL SERIES 2, WE'RE IN BEAR CREEK PARK...GOOD JOB BOYS!" (Just watch the video so he doesn't have to repeat himself.)

Unsuspecting runners discovered that the secret obstacle was a hive of angry Africanized bees. Not good for people who have a lot of exposed skin.

Innocent Runner: "Oh...huff, hufff...there is a bee hive...hufff...someone is going to get stung...hufff...I better put my jacket over it so that doesn't happen."

Angry Bees: "ANGRY...MUST STING!!!!!"

Unsuspecting recipient of bee stings: "Ohhhh....beeeeees, ahhhhh! It stung my eyeeeee! AHHHHHHH!"

Larry Miller: "HAHA, I love it when these courses devour people!!!!"

Angry Bees: "SHOULDN'T...HAVE...DONE...THAT.....NOW.......I........DIE....or merely get jobbed out of the WWF."

While in racing news...

Big McD: "Oh shit...Axel is getting away...whoa, Killer Bees...I love that duo!"

Axel: "La la laaaaa...this is so much easier compared to last weekend in Italy...what bees are you talking about...I don't see any, I am moving at 5:00-min/mile pace, bees are slow."

The Prez: "Oh Shit, I can't stop for beer at this beer station, Justin is on my ass...but there's BEER! [contemplatively] I hope that was a fly that just went into my shirt....

The PrezWhere are my feet!? I don't see my feet!!

Justin: "Oh shit, a beer station, Peter is definitely going to stop there. I'll catch him there for sure!"

Axel: "And they thought that only those silly looking lizards could do this, ha!"

Lizard: "Don't call me silly...I weigh more than you do!"

Axel: "OK, this is more like Limone, just without some Spanish guy named 'Hornet'."

Big McD: "Now I really wish I had some of those fancy Inov-8 X-talon 212's that The Prez is wearing."

Big McD: "This is what a Heisman winner looks like...."

Big McD: "...and my next impression...Jesse Owens!"

Chef l'équipe: "I am glad I took the rope out from in between my legs--those people are really tugging back there! Sheesh!"

Big McD: "Give me your lunch money, kid!"

Axel: "Nooooooo, I neeeeeed MILK...for strong bones!"

Team Colorado sweeps the top 4 spots with Axel, Big McD, The Prez and Justin....who looks a little worse for the wear after the killah bees and creek crossings.


Results article


  1. Funny stuff! The only thing I would add would be this clip...

    1. That is what it was really like, actually! We didn't want to traumatize anyone.

  2. Ha! Larry should use that clip on Pikes Peak Sports next year in advertising for the Bear Creek race :-) By the way, nice job Team Colorado