Monday, August 19, 2013

How to Hit the Wall: A Graduate Level Course

Over the past five months living and racing in Colorado, I've amassed a cornucopia of mid-race implosions (or assplosions). Don’t bother trying to inform me of how I should ‘do this or stop doing that’ because I bonk in every variety of fashion on the suffer spectrum.

Pikes Peak Ascent is a race up to the top of Pikes Peak. I live along the course and figured running around here daily would substitute race specific training. As a self-proclaimed ‘soul runner’, I start races according to my mood ring on race morning. When I feel good, I just go, scoffing at future consequences for real-time actions. I’ve been running for over 20 years, so I am fully aware of the risks that I take.
Good vibes at the bottom                           photo: Gary Gellin

On a blow-up scale my Pikes Peak Ascent race was Haley’s Comet. I led the race up Ruxton Ave before the trailhead. Cruised through Barr Camp (technically the halfway point) in 2nd with fellow Team Colorado stud ‘Gute’. Roughly a mile and a half past Barr Camp I began to start cramping in my quads. Once at tree line my race faded faster than a Rick Perry/Herman Cain/Elliot Spitzer/Anthony Weiner campaign. The last three miles was NOT a mixture of walk/running. In layman’s terms, the front part of my legs did not work. Sorta essential to getting to the top of a 14er. I finished in 3rd……..woman that is. Losing over 20 spots in the last three miles as I peg-legged to the top of America’s Mountain was a blast. I crossed the line confident that there may be no better blow-up artist than I.

Fooling everyone by running the last 10 yards                            photo:

Hangin' with the Team Colorado ladies is a surefire way to cheer up                       photo: Amy Perez

1 comment:

  1. Sorry about the race, Neil. But it was very entertaining to read about. Great photos.