Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Pikes Peak Ascent/Marathon to Test for PEDs

It has been announced that the 2013 editions of the Pike Peak Marathon and Pikes Peak Ascent will be testing for Performance Enhancing Drugs (PEDs, not to be confused with PEZ, the candy) by the United States Anti-Doping Agency (USADA).

The sports world has been gravely tarnished with PED use, especially with such high profile cases as fallen cycling star "Hot Pants" Lance Armstrong, Olympic Champions and even the Kenyans! What, the Kenyans!? What is this world coming to when the Kenyans are doping--the sweet, soft-spoken, frail little Kenyans???

Since Team Colorado is a huge proponent of drug testing, we are happy and welcome this new policy. As Simon Gutierrez stated, "It's good for the sport because it keeps the playing field nice and level." 

It doesn't keep the terrain of the course nice and level, just the competition!

Three-time winner of the Pikes Peak Ascent, Gutierrez, takes the race out fast in 2012 with fellow TC member Rickey Gates off of his left shoulder (Gates placed 2nd in 2012)    photo: PikesPeakSports.us

Gute's juice
photo: MEDA Consumer Healthcare
With the large prize purses of the Ascent and Marathon, there will be motivation for the cheats to gain an edge. "Unfortunately, when more money is involved, the suspicion does arise and people do things in an attempt to make money," says Gute. "With the big prize money at Pikes Peak, I think most of the mountain runners will feel positive about it." Plus, the only thing Gute is on is Geritol...he's claims it's safer than pumping iron in the gym. Oh, wait, there is the Centrum Silver for Adults 50+ that he takes even though he just turned 47. He thinks the lycopene and lutein are reversing his aging process. 

There is also the Old Spice, he swears by Old Spice.

Mountain runners are a tightly-knit group of like-minded people and are involved in the sport mainly to be out in the mountains and on the trails, to enjoy the beauty of the great outdoors, to pee freely when nature calls. "Bring on the testing!!!" Peter Maksimow, who will be running the Pikes Peak Marathon, states, "I can't wait to pee in a cup! Peeing in a cup is a sign of success because that means you have placed high enough to get tested. I would be honored to pee in a cup...I'm just worried that I will be so dehydrated after the marathon that I will have to sit for hours while they force feed me water. Hell, I would even be willing to give a stool sample if they want that!"

Maksimow disguises himself by shaving his facial hair       photo: Christian Murdock/The Gazette

Team Colorado member and the 2010 Ascent Champion, Glenn Randall, ran one of the fastest ever debut Ascents, clocking a 2:09:28, stated, "In skiing, I won an NCAA Team Championship, won an individual NCAA Championship, and was top 3 a few times at US Nationals. I was not tested for any of these races. When I won Pikes a few years ago, I was tested. I did not realize that testing was as rare in mountain running as the articles made it out to be, but the fact that Pikes is now testing every year almost makes me want to change around my race schedule to fit it in again."

Randall "Randaling" the field only a half mile into the 2010 Ascent   photo: Christian Murdock/The Gazette
Randall literally lead the 2010 Ascent from start......                   photo: PikesPeakSports.us                   
....to finish                   photo: Christian Murdock/The Gazette
Randall's ideas of mountain and trail running fit into the stereotypical thinking of a mountain runner. "One of the great things about mountain running is that you can do it au naturale." Plus, "just look what steroids do to cajones and then consider the type of cajones you want to compete in endurance athletics with."

True, you need balls to be ballsy!

There has been some question around how Axel Nichols has such nice hair. What is he using? "My hair always looks this beautiful," Nichols states. "I don't have to take anything for it...there is no secret to it. I just do a lot of hard training and the sun's rays keep it nice and blond."

"My hair always looks this beautiful" states Nichols, en route to a 2nd place finish in the 2012 Pikes Peak Marathon    photo: PikesPeakSports.us

Multiple-time top-3 finisher, Rickey Gates, uses a tonic to grow his mustache, but "it's all natural spirits, man!" he claims. "Drugs are bad, mmmkay." 

You are such a hippie, Rickey!
Gates bringing sexy back to facial hair                                    photo: Scott Markewitz

Team member and 2-time veteran of the Ascent, John Tribbia, says "I support drug testing in the sport, especially in races that offer prize money. It will be enlightening to see how this changes (or doesn't change) the make-up of competitive fields. My hope is the people we race against are clean. I just hope there is a test for helium composition in the blood stream and helium in shoes."

Tribbia laments, "Would white compression socks be considered doping? I hope not, because I wore those once."

As long as the white compression socks do not contain helium,Tribbia (#65) is happy
photo: PikesPeakSports.us

Tommy Manning has no tolerance for doping. "There's no money in mountain running so nobody has the need for PEDs. If somebody wants to take PEDs to be a big fish in a little pond and then die young, go ahead."

Manning does the Team Colorado Harlem Shake and Gute, Gates, Maksimow and Nichols follow suit
photo: PikesPeakSports.us

It would be a huge shock and disappointment if a top placing trail or mountain runner did test positive for PEDs, but the precedence is in now in place and will hopefully only reinforce the legitimacy of the sport that a growing number runners enjoy. 

So, test on, USADA, test on!!!

Pikes Peak Marathon and Ascent Results

PikesPeakSports.us write up

RunColo.com write up


  1. Is it true that Maksimow's beard is currently serving a two year doping ban?

  2. Not true. The beard received a cease and desist order for smuggling too many food items.